Blog slacking

It's been a long time since I blogged. And I am still lacking the motivation to write. I don't want to sit here and ramble about my boring every day life. I need some time to myself to think and get some motivation. Until then, this blog remains baron....

You know you love me, xoxo

After watching the last two season of Gossip Girl, I was way behind from having a child, it put a few things into perspective. Number one, Serena and Blair, BFFS. Now how can you be BFFs and do extremely fucked up things to each other. And not the accidental thing here and there, I mean really messed up things all the time. Constantly throwing each other under bus and using each other for fame and other messed up things. I don't know how any of them stay friends. Do people in the Upper East Side really act like this? I am guessing so, and I find it really disgusting. Especially since all these characters are out of high school now and still act like bratty teenagers. I guess this is why I usually like to do hang out alone, or with a few close friends, who most of the time don't act like this. I get we all have our moments, but I couldn't imagine living in a world like that. It just seems so toxic and stressful. And another thing, they all have unlimited amounts of money and can manage to find anyone or anything, but no one can figure out who the real Gossip Girl is? It's getting a little old. Then again, I haven't watched the season finale. Maybe they do find out. I guess I will have to watch that tonight.

In the arms of an angel

Every June 13th, I think about the loss of my first pregnancy. I get sad at times, thinking that if I didn't miscarry at 16 weeks, I would have a four year old girl this year. A little girl that might be in dancing or playing sports or an instrument. And I see other people's kids, people who were pregnant the same time as me, taking their sons or daughters to birthday parties, or fairs or just to the park. I have my son now, who I wouldn't trade for anything, but my loss still hits me at times. But I know that my little girl who would have been named, Angelina Francesca, is up in heaven with my great Aunt Frances taking care of her. And since Fran never had any of her own children, Angelina became her child. And one day, we will all meet again. Until that day my love.

Can you pay my bills?

Because I can't seem to. Somehow I managed to forget about Tommy's Jeep payment last month, which is $300, and now this month we owe $600, which we  really don't have. I just emptied out savings to pay it. They cut off my unemployment and now we are less over $900  a month. I might actually have to find a part time job, which I really don't want to do. I would have to find someone to watch TJ for free, otherwise it wouldn't be worth it. Or I can try to find something nights and weekends. Which will probably kill me. The summer should be really busy for Tommy so he will get overtime and he is on call one night a week and on backup two weekends a month. I know he doesn't want to, but I really hope he gets called. Its good money on call. I really wanted to start saving for our own place and for TJ for the future, but it so hard when we can barely pay our bills. We just have to be extra tight with out money and not splurge. Its going to be a long hot summer.....

Christina Perri - Distance (feat. Jason Mraz) [Acoustic]

Let's go to the beach, beach, let's go catch a wave..

Went to Montauk with my love. We had a really good time. It was really nice the first day and it was the end of the free music festival so we got to see a few bands. We hung out on the beach for a little while and napped in our room with the doors open and the ocean waves lulling us to sleep. 

The next day it was foggy and misting out, but it didn't damper our spirits. We hung out around the room and I got to do some reading.

After that, we decided to head over to the Lighthouse, since Tommy had never been there. There wasn't much of a view because of the fog, but it was still fun to climb up and be so high. It was a freeing feeling being out on the ledge.

There wasn't much to do after that, being cold and rainy. Most of the restaurants were closed. So we just spend the night relaxing, since it was our last night child free. It was only the first full day without without TJ and I was starting to miss him terribly. I know, I know, but he's my child and I am an overprotective mother.  The next morning it was raining so we bid ado to the beach, but hope to return again over the summer, even if its just for the day.

Bridesmaids

More like a horror movie then a comedy.  Don't have time to fully rant, but lets just say if you agree to be a bridesmaid, then you have to deal with all the hings that go along with it. Not just what you feel like doing and paying for!! Bitches!