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to be or not to be..that is the question.

Well, currently my question is, should I buy my son a swing set for the backyard or a club house? And should I take a course on Event Planning or medical billing? Sometimes when I have decisions to make, I wish someone would make them for me. Even little ones, like the toys for my son. I feel like I have made so many wrong decisions, that I am not capable of making right ones. If they didn't involve money, it would be much easier. School is always a hard decision. Especially since I quit twice. And is third time really a charm? I already owe almost $30,000 in school loans. I need to get rid of this debt and save money for when TJ needs to go to school. Not add more. But I worry that when its time for me to get a job again, I want have the skill. I will have been out of the work force for so long, that it will be hard for me to find a job that't not minimum wage or working in retail. I cannot do retail. I could do a supermarket again before retail. And its not that I think these jobs are beneath me, but in a way I do. Don't get me wrong, I don't think the people who work at these places are beneath me or I am better than them in anyway, I just have standards for myself. They are my own personal standards. I don't compare myself to anyone else with them. I just wish that someone would tell which is the right path to take. Can I handle school again? Will I find a job in event planning? As much as I love to do it, will it really be beneficial in the end? Medical Billing will cost more, but there is a better chance at finding a job. Event planning just seems really hard to get into, and if I do, how well will it pay, and I will probably have to start off doing some crappy job, that pays crap. One of the biggest things to take into consideration, is that I will be watching TJ full time until he starts school. With event planning it is an online course that takes about 8 months to a year to complete. Then I could probably intern somewhere on weekends or send out my resume to a bridal boutique or even planning place for nights and weekends. With medical billing, well actually its Health Information Technologies at suffolk community college, is online and nights and weekends. It will take about 2-4 years to complete, depending on which of my credits transfer and how many credits I take a semester. But with that I worry that with TJ I wont have time to actually study and pass all the classes and I would have to take statistics and Biology, which I am scared of. What I think I am more scared of, is actually going to school and being in a classroom. I am afraid of being the oldest kid in class and I have major social anxiety. Which I need to get past.ahhh decisions, decisions...

I always buy my friend and family little presents here and there. Just little things I see that I know they want or make me think of them. And I don't do it because I want something in return, but it would just be nice if someone did that for me once in awhile. Besides my mom. She does it all the time <3 - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Redrum

Lately I feel like murdering people. I also feel like I'm getting my period, but I'm not due until the 21st. Blah! I feel all bloated and cranky. Not helping with the weight loss. Neither is eating bagels. Need to reach by 10% by next week! I've been sick so I haven't been to the gym at all this week. Next week i'll head back and start off slow. I WILL reach my 10% by next Sunday!! Or no Momo for me. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone